Frequently Asked Questions
Confidentiality is the cornerstone of our work. Everything that takes place during the counselling session is treated with respect and discretion. However, there may be some circumstances where we may not be able to offer complete confidentiality. Under the terms of our contract if your counsellor feels that either you or a third party is at risk of significant harm, or in danger then they may need to talk to another person about this. Before this happens they will make every effort to discuss it with you first.
How long will counselling last?Counselling would normally take place once a week for 60 minutes. There is no set limit for clients as to how long they may continue with counselling. This is periodically reviewed with them and can be for as long as they feel it is helpful.
What you can do next?You can telephone us on 01302 360421 and leave your name and number. A counsellor will get back to you during office hours and your name will then be placed on the waiting list. We will advise you approximately how long you may be waiting.
Is a child or young person being pressurised, forced or tricked into taking part in any kind of sexual activity with an adult or young person. This can include kissing, touching the young person's genitals or breasts, intercourse or oral sex. Encouraging a child to look at pornographic magazines, videos or sexual acts is also sexual abuse.
Why don't children tell someone at the time?Abusers often plan what they will do and groom (gradually familiarise the child to increasingly intrusive activities) the victim so that the abuse becomes the norm. Others threaten their victims with dire consequences if they should tell, or bribe them, or convince them that what is happening is their own fault or responsibility. The victim is left feeling bad, guilty and confused, but usually not understanding why. So, it simply wouldn’t occur to most children to tell someone.
Surely people can't forget abuse and then remember years late?Usually victims haven’t actually forgotten, they simply haven’t been able to put together or make sense of the fragmented memories (flashbacks, physical sensations, nightmares, thoughts, etc.) or have blocked the awful memories.
Once you recognise the effects of sexual abuse in your life, you may want to make a commitment to heal.
What happens if they do tell?Our experience is that many victims have been silenced when they have tried to tell (being told they are bad for making up stories or they or someone else will be in trouble). Or they have been ignored because in an attempt to avoid being with the abuser they can only manage to say that they do not like the person, or don’t want to visit them. Their attempts to express uncomfortable feelings about something they cannot understand may well fall on deaf ears. Their behaviour may show their distress, but is all too frequently dismissed as attention seeking, disruptive, crazy or bad.
What about long term implications?Victims are left with very low self esteem and are more vulnerable to subsequent exploitation and abuse. They have also usually been struggling for years to cope alone with a very intense, complex and confusing mixture of thoughts, feelings and physical sensations. This results in a variety of behaviours which are understandable responses to pain, distress and negative self image. These may include use of prescribed or non prescribed drugs, alcohol, withdrawal from interaction with others, excessive studying or overworking, carelessness, neglect or deliberate harming of own body and suicide attempts. Many people do not receive the help they need, either because they are judged by their behaviours, whilst they and their feelings are ignored, or because they do not fit the stereotypical model of a victim.